I cant sleep though i feel like sleeping..My mind keep twirling..
I'm really worried..his acting very weird..ever since thur..
I really doubts..is it really cause of the medicine that cause him to have that stroke like symptoms side effect...
I really hope i know some doctors or nurses who can explain to me what are the side effects of drug allergy cause after checking the web...i still doubts...

I cant feel at ease at all..though he seem better BUT just now the way he talk..just lead me to many question marks...really weird..
I think i will try to stay awake and take note of any changes..

*still worried..really worried*

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "

I'm mentally exhausted. How much longer can i hold?
Last paper on the 5th..juz had my 1st paper today..screwed.
Thur will be my second paper and i'm really not prepared..

Sleepin now and hope tmr revision will be a fruitful one...
Good luck!

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "

Weekends it's over..gotta face my exam real soon..totally not prepared!
Time really flies..I know I had not reach the expectations..
Couldn't sleep last night..toss and turn and tears flows..stress

I'm sorry for blaming u..for everything..
I juz couldn't do..
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
*Hurt by Christina Aguilera

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "

Can't concentrate..took a short nap just now..
Just ate chocolate to perk me up..but not really..it's short term..just like those items i bought during impulsive shopping..
All are short term..

Gotta get back to study..give me energy please..hopefully i can stay awake till late..late..late...

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "

Coming tue would be my first paper..been struggling to study but it's really not easy...
Feeling real lousy..confuse..

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "

I know no amount of tears will solve the problem. But i juz cant help. It flows down on its own that I don't seem to be able to control it. It seems like on its own.

I'm feeling really lousy. Why did I realise my mistake so late. I will neither forget the matter nor forgive myself for the rest of my life. Juz like how I remember the first sin I committed.

I wonder..if I were to cry till I turn blind, will anyone pity me? Or I should say care.
I know there will be but those are people who don't know the ugly truth or they really could understand how I feel. Argh! I told myself countless time that...'com'on you don't deserve any sympathy! U brought it upon yourself! So stop thinking there will be people who knows what u're thinking! Com'on wake up your idea!'

I really don't wanna see him being hurt again..I know he will never forget this as well..but is me stayin with him the best decision? Or selfish decision?
I cant bring myself to leave him. I really cant. Juz cant!
All i wish now is..do my every part to make him stand back again. I want him to recover and be confident and happy.

T might sound so nice and good here people..but please don't be misleaded by this.
I am a real selfish bitch. Heartless. Inconsiderate.
People like me deserve to be remembered with bad names and juz die. So i really don't wish for any forgiveness or empathy.

I will prove what i gotta prove. And probably....silly thoughts again! Ha!
Ok..i told myself this...'no silly thoughts! I gotta be filial! I cant throw them on their own..i won't!'

So ya..I will prove that a person will not get pin down by the mistakes they make. I will be a better person unless I had lost the person I loved. Or else, i'll prove that a leopard will change it's spots! Cause i'm a human.
Even criminals get second chance...yellow ribbon...

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "

I will never never never ever forgive myself.

I know i hurt him too deep that i dont deserve any empathy. But deep me i'm hurt too.
I know my pain cant be compared to his. But i'm really sad and depressed too.
Friends I know, though not that close, saying 'a leopard will never change its spots'.
I know I cant blame them from saying this but could anyone see it from my view.
I know i deserve anyone to put themselve in my shoe cause I bring it upon myself. But I really realise my mistake.I really wanna prove you people wrong that i'm not a leopard!

I know I don't deserve any empathy or forgiveness..but I juz wanna say that I cried till I feel my nose is bleeding and my eye lids are sore.
I know no amount of tears will solve the problem cause i brought it upon myself.

I really hope he can stand back up again and be happy.
As for me..no forgiveness needed cause seeing him back to normal state will ease my pain.

" love is so magical, as magical as the sunset. "